What the Bible COULD have said

In your conversation with the loved one that has left your religious fold you will, in all likelihood, bring up The Bible. This will probably make little difference to them because, it really is just an ancient text, written by the preachers of that long-gone age, which they have considered honestly and were unable to believe it has a supernatural origin.

There are several other texts that are older than the Bible (the Odyssey, the Iliad, the Vedas), and quite a few that could hold more moral truths (Shakespeare). To claim that it is the original, unique word of an omnipotent, omniscient deity who only has our welfare in mind, and a perfect moral guide to boot, just doesn’t stand up to skeptical scrutiny of the texts.

If the Bible really were the inspired word of an omniscient god who loved us and wanted the best for us, would it really have been filled with genocide, plagues, commandments, threats, and acceptable ways to beat your slaves? Rather, wouldn’t you expect that He would have taken the time to calmly explain the workings of the world and the universe and then given you reasons to do the things that would actually be beneficial to the future of humanity?

Instead of sounding like it was written by a desert war chief with a micro-management complex, the bible might have sounded more like this:

Yea, though the Earth seem steady and flat, yet it is a globe which doth turn fully ‘round once daily. Look to the North Star to witness the hub of this turning, extended.

The sun is just another star, only much, much closer to you than the other stars.

The Earth is spherical and, along with the other planets, circles ‘round the sun just as the moon circles the Earth.

The Earth, moon, planets and stars are all thousands of millions of years old.

It would have just taken God a few sentences to lay out the foundation of modern astronomy. Instead, many a good man, like Galileo and Copernicus, were persecuted as heretics by the Church. Giordano Bruno was put to death for the blasphemy of suggesting that the Earth revolves around the sun. This was done by the very people who supposedly had God whispering truths into their ears.

The Bible could have said:

Explore the Earth. Have no fear of falling off of it, as it is round and everything on it is pulled toward its center by a force of nature that I will call “Gravity”. Yay, it is the same force that holds the plate upon the table, and keeps the planets bound to the sun.

Travel and experiment, and record your results so that you may build a body of knowledge of the world that will benefit those generations which follow.

Since the Earth is a sphere, traveling south will reveal stars unknown to you in your native lands.

Deep in the soil may be found signs of beasts which lived long ago, but exist no longer. The patient earth has turned their bones to rock. Indeed, the deeper you dig the farther back in time the bones will be from. The very history of the Earth may be learned by examining deeply within it. There, you will witness how plants and animals have changed over many generations.

Right there He could have given us the basics of understanding evolution. Even if He didn’t give us all the facts, he could have shown us where to start looking and how to begin to understand what we found.

The Bible could have said:

There are many lands and peoples on this earth that differ greatly from you. Treat them with kindness, and do not consider them beneath you simply because they are strange to you, for they are my children too.

Thou shalt NOT keep another human being as property. It is as wrong as murder, as it steals a life from its true owner. Abolish slavery wherever you may find it.

With these few short sentences, He could have saved thousands, if not millions, of lives from brutality, hardship, family separation, and death. But the God of the Bible actually endorsed slavery. Telling his people who to enslave, how much to charge for selling their daughters into slavery, and even details how to mark them as slaves.

The Bible could have said:

The LAND thou livest on is thine by agreement with other people. I DO NOT assign thee any land. If thou kill a people to take their land from them, thou art guilty of murder and theft, not Righteousness.

Those sentences could have saved the world endless wars over the Holy Lands. The Middle East could have been a region of peaceful co-existence, instead of an area of continuous war as it is today. Instead, the God of the Bible, in his role as real estate agent, actually tells his flock to slaughter whole populations in order to take their lands from them.

The Bible could have said:

Witches and Sorcerers do NOT exist. No human has magical powers. Only your God has such powers.

How many lives would this sentence have saved? How many people have been tortured, maimed and killed on the pronouncement of their neighbor that they were witches? Instead the Bible positively tells its people that witches exist, and commands us to kill them when we find them. Christian missionaries are still perpetuating this infamy on women and children in Africa today. The Ugandan government has recently passed laws that order the death penalty for homosexuals due to the teachings found in the Bible and spread by Christian missionaries.

The Bible could have said:

There are NO demons. Those humans who are afflicted in the mind, are sick, naturally sick, and are not to be feared, other than from the harm they may do naturally.

How many people have been put to death because they were deemed to be possessed by demons? Even today, in modern American society, people are being hurt, and in some cases killed, in the process of exorcism. The Catholic Church itself, supposedly an “enlightened” religious entity, routinely performs exorcisms, and indeed still employs specialists in it.

The Bible could have said:

ALL human beings are my children, no matter what sex, color, or how they choose to acknowledge me, or indeed, IF they choose to acknowledge me or not. I am a perfect being; therefore I do not care for adoration or worship. All people, Men and Women, must be given equality under the law.

With one word from God, He could have established the equality of the sexes, and outlawed racism. Think of it, who benefits more from adoration and worship? A perfect being or the priests and preachers of a particular religion who claim to represent Him?

The Bible could have said:

When you receive a wound or cut, pour distilled alcohol onto it, else it starts to fester and spoil due to extremely small plants and animals, which I will call “germs,” infesting it.

These germs are indeed so tiny that they cannot be seen by the sharpest eye, but their effects on flesh and food can be terrible, and easily observed.

To prevent these harmful effects, wash thyself regularly, hands and face most often. Care for thy sick. Physicians, wash your hands after seeing each patient lest the germs from one patient be carried to the next.

One day, your experiments and inventions will allow you to see these very small organisms.

God could have laid the ground work for us to understand the germ theory of disease. In just the Civil War alone, hundreds of thousands of people could have been spared excruciating pain, suffering, and death if the surgeons had just washed their hands between surgeries.

The Bible could have said:

Before eating, be sure to clean your hands and eating tools thoroughly, lest these germs find their way into your body by your food and cause disease.

By slow and steady cooking, food and water may be safe from these tiny parasites which dwell therein. Milk too may be made safe in this way. Seven times seventy beats of your heart are sufficient in duration for boiling to be effective.

Thou canst eat pork, sheep and shellfish whenever thou likest, just cook it well first. Moreover, thou shalt cook all thy meat and fish well, until thou mayest develop deep understanding of germs and parasites.

God could have given us the basis for proper nutrition. Instead, He forbade the ingestion of Pork, Shrimp, and Lobster. How many people had to suffer hunger and malnutrition when a ready food supply may have been nearby?

The Bible could have said:

I will not curse thee with diseases, for I love thee. Diseases are caused by germs and malnutrition, and may be fought with the right diet, or by using herbs and renderings from some plants. Physicians, experiment with these things to find effective cures.

I will NOT send flood or storm against thee, for I love thee. These are caused by the natural heating and cooling of the Earth’s airs. Not by your loving God.

How many shaman, imams, and preachers have ascribed diseases and other natural events to their gods in order to insure obedience to their wishes? And they are still doing it today (aren’t you Pat Roberson?).

How many virgins were sacrificed at the hands of some witch doctor because people were afraid that their god would do something to their people if the sacrifice was not made?

The Bible could have said:

Stop mutilating your genitals, especially those of thy helpless babies and children. This is disrespectful, harmful, and can cause germs to enter the body by those cuts.

How many children have died as a direct result of this? And why would an All Powerful, Omniscient Creator of the Universe care about who has a tiny piece of flesh on their body? And remember, He supposedly put it there in the first place.

The Bible could have said:

Afford to each other those rights which you would have for yourself. Do not kill or harm another, as you would not want to be killed or harmed yourself. As I love you, and do not harm or kill you, you should not harm or kill others.

All life on Earth is related to you in the most profound way. Treat your planet with the greatest respect. It sustains you and it will be a very long time, if ever, that you will find another one like it.

As your populations grow, in the millennia that follow, you must develop the skills needed to find, and move to, other Earths. Do this as quickly as you are able, for your planet is fragile, and is exposed to many dangers.

With these lines, God could have laid the groundwork for a respect for ALL life. And he would have given us a warning, nay a dictate, to begin the preparation to move off the Earth. He would have known that the population of Earth would rapidly reach critical mass. And with that much of a warning, and without the Church fighting science at every opportunity, we might actually have reached other planets in the millennia since the Bible was written.

The Bible could have said:

Treat ALL people, and indeed all life, with kindness, compassion and respect for I have made you in my image, whole and unspoiled. You will be judged for your actions, NOT for your ability to believe the unbelievable.

No matter how much religious people claim that “being good” is the basis for getting into heaven, the actual criterion laid out in the Bible is belief. Believe in Jesus and accept him as your savior, and you’re in. Doing bad stuff? No problem! You’re forgiven! Just believe!

The Bible could have said:

I do NOT appoint leaders, and NO Priest or Shaman knows my secrets. Do not humble yourselves to those who claim knowledge of me.

With these lines, God could have ended the practice of charlatans taking money from the old and infirm or indeed from anybody, in the name of God.

The Bible could have said:

And finally, since the information herein is so extremely important, I will make this book indestructible and available to every person on the planet, in their language, free. And for those who cannot read, I will have it speak to them in their native tongue.

I will not allow it to be misinterpreted or misrepresented so I will simultaneously update all copies from time to time as your understanding grows, for it is well within my power to do so.

That last paragraph would be an end to holy wars, AND atheism. Here would be ample proof of the existence, presence and power of an almighty being.

And the Bible could have ended with:

Now go forth, and help prepare each new generation to be healthier, kinder, wiser and more knowledgeable than the last.

With Infinite Love, God

In other words: Be excellent to each other!

Now this would be a book that actually does reflect an omnibenevolent being!

I’m sure you could think of dozens of additional things guidelines that COULD have been in the Bible. Many examples should spring readily to mind knowing what we know now about the natural world around us and what a supposedly omniscient loving God COULD have told us.

Now, compare what you have just read to the many barbaric laws, punishments, and commandments found in the Bible, especially those found in Deuteronomy and Leviticus. Or indeed, compare this with the teachings of ANY “holy book.”

5 thoughts on “What the Bible COULD have said”

  1. Brilliantly done! Reminds me of a list I compiled several years ago:

    A List Of Things Jesus Should of Said, but Didn’t:

    1) don’t own people
    2) respect everyone, men, women, children–treat each equally
    3) try not to start a war
    4) wash your hands
    5) nothing wrong with masturbation, so long as you don’t make a habit out of it. No–scratch that– so long as you remember to eat.
    6) always cook birds to well done
    7) don’t eat shit, don’t drink piss– yes, you would think this does not need to be said, but it does. sadly.
    8) do not hit children. Don’t do it. Just.. don’t.
    9) do not force sex onto anyone. Don’t. No–not even then.
    10) for most of you, do not worry about the glutens. If you don’t know what that is? This is for *you*.
    11) Be Excellent To Each Other.
    12) try to make time to dance every day, if you can. Not all dancing requires standing up, or even legs. Sometimes, all you need to dance, is just in your own mind
    13) enjoy sunrises
    14) try not to work all the time; life is short enough as it is.
    15) try to catch a full moon, if you are able
    16) do not own people. yes–this is a repeat.
    17) try not to kill anyone– it’s not respectful. (see #2)
    18) cherish your family, your friends. You don’t know when you will see them next.
    19) I’m not coming back, in spite of rumors to the contrary. Sorry about that.
    20) life is what you choose to make of it. Choose Wisely.
    21) marry whom you please, so long as they are also an adult. Don’t let nay-sayers tell you you can’t or it’s wrong.
    22) there is no heaven, there is no hell– live as if this life is all you get: because it is.

    1. The “God” of the Bible is a jewish Adolf Hitler!!!
    2. The “God” of the Bible is a Masskiller!!!
    3. Robbery, Land Grabbing and Genocide in the Bible!
    4. The Bible,s Genocide in Internet!!!
    5. Pedofilia, Rape, Racism and Hate in Internetbible!!!

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