The Irrational Dichotomies a Christian has to believe.

Irrational Dichotomy (n): Division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups: a dichotomy between thought and action, or holding two contradictory beliefs simultaneously.

When a person is exposed to evidence which runs counter to their previously held notions of reality, there exists within their mind a contradictory dichotomy of ideas which must eventually become resolved. This is an uncomfortable, and often distressing time for them and can, if un-resolved for an extended period of time, lead to mental illness.

Christians, and indeed all Religious adherents, fall into this group. And they are not allowed to resolve these dichotomies.

Understanding and enlightenment comes to one when that dichotomy is ultimately resolved and beliefs once again fall in-line with observable reality.


Christians believe:

You must maintain a loving relationship with Jesus Christ and God Himself. And if you don't, you are in danger of eternal damnation and punishment.

But you can neither see or hear this entity.

You believe:

That you are the wonderful, special creation of a Perfect God, given reign over all of the creatures of the Earth.

But you also believe that you're born a flawed and dirty sinner; a pitiful creature deserving of Hell-Fire for the disobedience of your first ancestor. 
You believe;

That if God wills it, it will be so, as He is All-Powerful and a Perfect Being.

But you also know of His many, many plans that failed.

1) His original Plan for Mankind, as set out in the Garden of Eden, failed due to Mankind eating the fruit.  (He apparently didn't see it coming.)

2) His destruction of the Earth in the Great Flood in order to rid the Earth of Evil (it's still here)

3) His destruction of the Tower of Babel to discourage us from building too tall.  (We can fly higher than any building.)

etc., etc.,  The whole Bible is a history is one failed plan after another. 

You believe:

That God knows everything, everywhere, past and future; and that He can read your mind; and knew you before you were conceived.

BUT because of free-will, He doesn't know which way you're going to go that moral decision you have facing you later today.

He apparently didn't know Adam and Eve were going to eat the apple. If He had known, why would he have been surprised and angry about it?

And Adam and Eve were able to hide from him after they ate the apple? And he had to hunt for them. How could that be? (Or was God just playing a MIND GAME at the time of the Great Fall of Man.)

And why did He have to test Job, and put him through all that torment? Shouldn't He have just KNOWN about Job’s faith? Any why would he even CARE what Satan thought?

You believe: 

That God gave us free will. For as Newsweek's Jon Meachem says "Love coerced is no love at all, only tyranny, and God wanted us to choose whether to love him or not, to obey him or not." 

BUT from the Bible you know that he very pointedly tells us that He will throw us into a lake of fire for eternity if we don't love and obey Him. 

And isn't the Jesus, in the Bible, really saying "Love me or go to Hell?" What kind of warped, dysfunctional love is that? That is love with a gun to your head.

You believe:

God loves you, me and everyone more than any parent ever loved their child

BUT He's willing to throw any of us into Hell, and torture us for the rest of eternity, for simply not believing in him, or in Jesus, or for any of a multitude of other "sins".

In the Bible God actually watched Jephthah cut up and burn his own daughter as a Human Sacrifice to Him in repayment for giving him a Victory in Battle. (Judges 11:30-40) AND since God is All-Knowing, he KNEW that all this was going to be the outcome of the "agreement" he made with Jephthah, even though Jephthah didn't.  But he accepted the agreement, let it happen, and accepted the burnt-offering.

Also, in 2nd Kings 2:23-24, God sent 2 Bears to rip-up, and kill 32 children for simply calling one of His prophets a “bald-head”.

You believe:

that if you're a good person, and live a good life, you'll go to heaven.

BUT that any axe murderer or child raping psychopath, waiting out their last days on death row, can get to heaven by simply by "accepting Jesus" before the end (Like Jeffrey Dahmer did in May, 1994).

You believe:

that God reveres Life, and that he's concerned about every sperm/egg.

BUT In the Bible and He ordered His followers to kill over 2 MILLION people. And that He, personally, killed over 300,000 people, and that’s not counting 65 citys whose number of killed were not given, and the entire population of the Earth in the Great Flood.

Not only that, but any Gynocologist will tell you that about 1/2 of all fertilized embryos are spontaneously aborted before the woman even knows she's pregnant. That would make God the biggest abortionist on the planet.
You believe;

That the Bible is the Inspired, Unchanging Word of the Almighty God.

But you also believe that you can just pick and choose whatever you want to from it; ignoring the parts where it says:

1) You should stone your own children to death if they are unruly.  (Deu 21:18)

2) Keeping slaves is alright, just so you don't beat them so hard that they die withing the first day or 2.

3) Shellfish and pork are definitely out (Leviticus 11:7, 10)

4) All women are forbidden to teach men (I Timothy 2:12), 

5) Wives are supposed to be 'submissive' to their husbands (I Peter 3:1)

6) Women are forbidden to dress in clothing that 'pertains to a man' (Deuteronomy 22:5)

7) Divorced people, if they remarry, are actually committing adultery which carries the rather harsh penalty of death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22)."

8) AND Homosexuals should be killed; men "wounded in the stones" will not get into heaven; Women are Unclean during the week before/after their menstrual period; etc., etc., etc.

You believe:

that God is a loving, merciful and infinitely patient judge of humanity

BUT Adam and Eve just disobeyed him ONCE and he cursed them, and ALL OF THEIR DESCENDANTS, for the REST OF TIME for their disobedience. 

Then later He created an eternal torture-chamber for their unfortunate descendants who don't happen to believe in Him or Jesus.

You believe;

That God is All Powerful; capable of creating entire Universes, destroying worlds and breathing life into his creations.

BUT Satan was supposed to have been able to orchestrate a rebellion against God, AND waged a great war against Him. 

How can ANY being rebel against an All Knowing, All Powerful, Omni-Present God.  (Also, wasn't Satan in a position to KNOW whether God was an all-powerful, and all-knowing being or not?  At least, much more so than we mortals.)

And Jacob actually wrestled with God and demanded a Blessing before he would let Him go. And God complied.  How could this be? 

Also, in Judges 1:19 God can't even defeat Iron Chariots? "And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out [the inhabitants of] the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -  Hmmmm

And in Mark 6:18, it says that "it is impossible for God to lie". Heck, a child can lie. But an All-Powerfull being can't?  And before you say "He can't lie because he's all Good.", see above.

You believe;

Your children should get a good education, and encourage them to learn all they can about Medicine, the Sciences and Philosophy.  And indeed you stand in awe of all the technology around you that lifts your life above the human drudgery that was common only 100 years ago...

BUT then you tell your children that they shouldn’t believe anything that their teachers may tell them that contracts a 2000 year-old book whose writers thought that the sky (the Firmament) was made of water, and that Demons caused sickness.

And that it's OK for any fundamentalist family to keep their children home from school, and fill their heads with biblical nonsense, until they turn them into street-corner preachers.

I, for one, consider that child-abuse.

You believe;

That Jesus was a peaceful, un-assuming man who came among us to bring Peace to Earth.

But if you've read the Bible, you know that Jesus Himself says otherwise:

Mat 10:34-38: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes [shall be] they of his own household.

and Luke 14:26: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." - Jesus

And that Jesus Himself will open the Seals on the Last Day that will bring distruction to the entire planet. (Revelation 6:1)

You believe: 

That the barbaric laws of the Old Testatment are not relevant now since the New Covenent of the New Testament with Jesus came about.

BUT you know that  the Ten Commandments are in the Old Testament.  They are part of the Old Laws. 

Also, the 2nd most often mentioned name in the New Testament, after Jesus, is Moses, and Jesus often refers to the old laws when speaking. 

He says in Luke 16:17 "And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail."

And in Mat 5:18 "For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."

You believe:

that if I just say "Ok, I believe" and "I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior" that that's good enough for God.

BUT you also believe that He can read my every thought, and therefore He would know that deep down inside I can't actually believe any of that supernatural stuff.
You believe;

That Jesus died for your sins.

BUT you're fond of saying that "Jesus Lives!"  Not only that, but  you can talk to him anytime you want and that he's as alive as anyone on earth.   Dead means Dead.  Which is it?  Did he die? Or is He alive?  Or did he just have a really "bad weekend" for your sins.
You believe:

This country is going to Hell in a handbasket with all the murder, rape, cheating and lying going on here. And that we need to bring God and Christ back into everyones lives.

BUT in your very next breath you vehemently assert that this is a Christian Nation with more than 90% of our population being Christian, and that it's the OTHER 10% that are to Blame for the Nation being in such awful shape. 

You Believe:

That 90% (or more) of Americas are Christians

BUT, when pressed, it doesn't take any time at all to get you to admit that half of your Neighbors (or more) are not REAL Christians.  And only YOU can tell which are and which aren't.
You Believe:

That Christianity is the Best, and Only, TRUE religion in the world. And that you can defend, and justify, the claims of that religion.  And, you believe that the only way to a blissful afterlife is through Jesus.

BUT, you know that you have never taken the trouble to study ANY of the OTHER 1,000+ religions in the world.. And when asked how you came to Christianity, you can only say, "Oh, well, it was my parent's religion.". Which is the same reason that just about everybody else in the world gives for their choice of religion.

Have other dichotomies that I may have forgotten/overlooked? Email them to me here.  I'll add them to the list!