Let’s have some testable claims for a change

How do you test something? You test it on its claims. Imagine showing a Zippo lighter to a caveman.

Caveman: “What does it do?”
You: “Produces fire.”
CM: “Bullshit.”
You: “I’m serious. Watch. <flick>”
CM: “Well, I’ll be damned.”

This, in a nutshell, is my major problem with religion(s). They make UNtestable claims. Or testable claims for which they refuse to acknowledge failure. One such claim is the “OMNIPOTENCE” claim. Most major religions include omnipotence among the super powers of their star figure. Taking Christianity as an example, they imbue God, or Yahweh, with this characteristic. Omnipotence. Can do ANYTHING. Created the universe from nothing with a whim of his omnipotent mind/ego. Poof. Universe. Complete with animals and water and light and taxes. None of this evolution shit.

Now, it’s not difficult to come up with tests for omnipotence. But the bar has to be high enough. Auntie Brain Tumor that rallies for six months after the Dr. gives her two weeks to live, is NOT a miracle. There was a statistical likelihood, however small, that ABT would surprise everyone with her grit. But six months later, she’s still on the wrong side of the grass.

No, we need a test for omnipotence that is unequivocal. That ISN’T a statistical probability or likelihood. All we have to do is imagine impossible things. An omnipotent god would be capable of not just the unlikely – but the IMPOSSIBLE. We should see at least SOME instances of the impossible, indicating that there is something more at work than luck and good fortune. Here is a list of five impossible things. ANY OF WHICH would prove the Christian claim of their god’s omnipotence.

1. You’ve all heard this one. The amputated limb. A congregation prays, and the limb is restored to perfect function. If you see that, you know we’re not in the empirically really real world. Problem is, it has never happened and it never will because god is not only NOT omnipotent, he isn’t even real.

2. On a spacewalk, let’s have any or all Christian astronauts remove their helmets. God is omnipotent. They will survive. NOT.

3. How about Christian base-jumping? Leap off of the Burj Khalifa with a prayer on your lips. Everything will be FINE! Your god is OMNIPOTENT!

4. Advanced Alzheimer’s. Ugly, I know. But god is omnipotent. Pray and the spongiform mass of the Alzheimer patient’s brain should heal right up. That’s a small thing, right? That’s not moving a mountain. That’s not defying physics. That’s just restoring one faithful servant to competency. Never happened. Alzheimer’s is a one-way street. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but inexorable.

5. Now for a little hardball. All you religious people pray, and stop the world from revolving around the sun for….let’s say a month. June, so it’s nice in the Midwest. Then restart it again. No sloshing of the oceans allowed. That would be a miracle. That would be something an omnipotent god can do.

Theists will say, “God doesn’t work like that, so as not to reveal himself. We must come to him through faith alone.” right? And yet Jesus said, “Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, `Remove hence to yonder place,’ and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you.” So Jesus INVITES these kinds of tests. And with the very slightest SLIVER of faith, the omnipotent god will perform miracles.

Except he doesn’t.  Not because he’s hiding.  Not because of “free will;” but because he, like all other religious supernatural figures, is fiction.

4 thoughts on “Let’s have some testable claims for a change”

  1. “This, in a nutshell, is my major problem with religion(s). They make UNtestable claims. Or testable claims for which they refuse to acknowledge failure.”

    This not the case with Christianity; Christianity claims that Jesus rose from the dead and affected human history because of it. There is enough data on this topic to come to a conclusion that either Jesus did or did not rise from the dead.

    “Here is a list of five impossible things. ANY OF WHICH would prove the Christian claim of their god’s omnipotence.”

    You’re right; any of those five impossible things would prove God’s omnipotence. However, just because God is described as being able to do anything doesn’t mean that He should.

    “And yet Jesus said, “Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, `Remove hence to yonder place,’ and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you.” So Jesus INVITES these kinds of tests.”

    We are not the original audience for the Gospels of the Bible, nor any other book of the Bible for that matter. We must read, study, and investigate the Bible as the original and intended audience of the books would have understood them. The Jewish culture uses more symbolism, metaphors, and hyperboles than we do. One example of a hyperbole is Jesus telling his audience to move a mountain. In addition, Jesus does not invite people to make these tests; in fact, two times that Jesus prayed to God, he made it very clear that God’s will is the most important. Those who make these tests reverse the roles and make God the subject, not the master.

  2. “This not the case with Christianity; Christianity claims that Jesus rose from the dead and affected human history because of it. There is enough data on this topic to come to a conclusion that either Jesus did or did not rise from the dead.” – No, no there is not. Go back and check your sources, or better yet ask any person who has gone through seminary about the authenticity of the bible. We don’t know who wrote any of it, and even if we did, it still all boils down to anecdotal evidence.

    “Here is a list of five impossible things. ANY OF WHICH would prove the Christian claim of their god’s omnipotence.”

    “You’re right; any of those five impossible things would prove God’s omnipotence. However, just because God is described as being able to do anything doesn’t mean that He should.” – But he never does. Why is that?

    “And yet Jesus said, “Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, `Remove hence to yonder place,’ and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you.” So Jesus INVITES these kinds of tests.”

    We are not the original audience for the Gospels of the Bible, nor any other book of the Bible for that matter. We must read, study, and investigate the Bible as the original and intended audience of the books would have understood them. The Jewish culture uses more symbolism, metaphors, and hyperboles than we do. One example of a hyperbole is Jesus telling his audience to move a mountain. In addition, Jesus does not invite people to make these tests; in fact, two times that Jesus prayed to God, he made it very clear that God’s will is the most important. Those who make these tests reverse the roles and make God the subject, not the master.

    Sure, it seems like it should all be taken literally until science proves differently, then it’s hyperbole or alliteration. Or the religious person will then supply 3 chapters, 2 videos and a sermon about why the Bible doesn’t really mean what it says. Meanwhile, the 1/4 of the country who are fundamentalists are reading the Bible literally, and passing laws to have homosexuality punished (I’ll bet you’ll say THAT part should be taken literally), evolution taken out of schools and stem cell research defunded. This is exactly what I write about in my article about obfuscation.

  3. “Go back and check your sources, or better yet ask any person who has gone through seminary about the authenticity of the bible. We don’t know who wrote any of it, and even if we did, it still all boils down to anecdotal evidence.”
    Bart Ehrman acknowledges that Paul wrote at least most of the letters attributed to him. The people attributed with writing the Gospels were the only people throughout history attributed with writing the Gospels. In addition, why have Mark and Luke as two authors of the Gospels when they weren’t even disciples of Jesus? If the early Church was trying to attribute the Gospels to people, why wouldn’t they have attributed them to disciples, such as Peter, James, or Andrew? Also, if they just randomly came up with the author of the Gospels, why didn’t they do the same with Hebrews, whose author is still anonymous? All historical and theoretical evidence points to the explanation that those attributed with writing the Gospels were the authors.

    “Sure, it seems like it should all be taken literally until science proves differently”
    Or how about we take a more scholarly approach and try to find out the author’s intention?

  4. If one believes in Intelligent Design, then an interesting conundrum presents itself: ‘God’ designed the salamander with an ability to regenerate its limbs, or tail, if they are lost; why then, if he had already perfected the technique on a small reptile, did he not endow his finest creation with the same abilities?

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